THICKE:        This is Ed Thicke.

DULL:            And Ted Dull.

THICKE:        With a message from the Monolith Brick Company.

DULL:           About strong, hard, rectangular…

THICKE:        Monolith Bricks.

DULL:           Ladies, Monolith Bricks are sturdy and reliable.

THICKE:        And now, with Monolith’s new expanded line of products,
you can get them in your choice of two beautiful designer shapes: Wide or Tall.

DULL:           Ed, I think the tall one is just a wide one standing on end.

SFX:             CLUNK OF BRICK FALLING OVER ON ITS SIDE

THICKE:        So it is.  Well, I guess Monolith doesn’t offer all that much variety.
But aren’t there lots of great cosmetic and housekeeping uses for these hard, lifeless objects, Ted?

DULL:            Could be, Ed.  But we don’t really have to get into all that.

THICKE:        I guess that’s true.  Tell ‘em why, Ted.

DULL:           You see, ladies, the Monolith Brick Company has just placed such an obese media buy
that it hardly matters what we say.

THICKE:        We thought about just bluntly reading our marketing strategy at you—

DULL:            But we don’t even have to do that, let alone capture your imagination or sell you on the benefits,
if there are any, of Monolith Bricks.

THICKE:        No, all we have to do is keep hitting you with these boring brick commercials night and day
till you stagger off and buy some.

DULL:            And don’t even think about switching stations.

THICKE:        No, we’re on every station right now.

DULL:            And will be again every five minutes till we reach our sales goals.

THICKE:        So you see, ladies, it’s sort of a blackmail situation.

DULL:            And it’s truly in your own best interests to think up your own uses for Monolith Bricks.

THICKE:        We know you don’t want to hear from us.

DULL:            And we don’t particularly like to talk to you.

THICKE:        So what it really comes down to is—

DULL:            Buy us or we’ll bore you.

THICKE:        Say, that’d make a sell tagline, Ted.

DULL:           We don’t need one, Ed.